The first fight (Continuation of our story)
To this point, we had hurdled over meeting parents, my boys and Terry were developing a relationship. Things were going well, or so it seemed, until that dreadful day in June. Terry was playing in a golf tournament and then leaving afterwards to go to the beach with Tom, Marie, Brad and Zach.
I wasn’t really happy that he had planned to play and then leave because I knew that there wouldn’t be time to see him. So, I did what I knew how to do best….pitch a fit. I ranted and screamed and cried hoping he would see it my way. No such luck, I had met my match when it came to battling of the wills. He was even more determined than me.
So he played golf and then left for the beach, he did call me before he left, but I was giving him the silent treatment and highly determined not to back off my previous position, besides, I wanted him to know I was still angry. I knew he was still brewing hot with anger too.
This was back in the day, before the age of cell phones, so I knew we wouldn’t talk much while he was away on vacation. However, by the end of the third day and he hadn’t called, I admit, I started to wonder if my irrational behavior had run him off, but the next day he called. Sadly, I was still very short and cold with my responses but he tried to keep the conversation upbeat and not allow the past to be brought up.
As the week passed on, I was anxiously anticipating his arrival. When he finally got home, late in the day on Saturday, he came over to see me. Finally, I was over my silly anger fit, but it wouldn’t last long. By the time he got ready to leave, he informed me that he wouldn’t be seeing me the next day, at least not at church, because he was playing golf again. I stewed. I tried to reign in the donkey, but this time, the donkey was coming at him full force. (Honestly, he was probably laughing at my idiocy) Still, I could not change his mind. He had plans and he was sticking to them, no matter what I did or said.
So, when he left, I was angry and so was he, essentially a week had changed nothing. Feeling extremely frustrated, I decided to give him just enough time to get home and call him. Fortunately, I calculated his trip home with almost precise accuracy and called at the right time.
Finally, after long silences and more angry words, he said something I will never forget, “I realize at some point, there will come a day, when I have to give up some of the things I love doing; but now is not the time.” At that point, I realized that he was not only thinking ahead to our future together, but I was the one who was being selfish and unreasonable.
This argument, or fight, if will happened over 23 years ago. I can tell you that he was true to his word. He has given up a lot to be the leader of our household. He continues to bless our family with his deep love and dedication. I rarely pitch tantrums anymore. They still don’t work on him. Never have and never will……