Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above. —Robinson
The war within is so strong it's like the ocean current that just pulls you out away from the shore. Gently at first but the tugging keeps on until you realize you're about to the point of no return!
It's a wrestling of the will and flesh , the heart and the soul ! The will wrestles with the flesh to do the right thing, while the flesh argues and presses the heart to be wicked and deceitful, and the soul , deep deep down where the spirit resides, keeps saying. "No no no! It's not right it's not good and nothing good will come from it. Let it go! Let it be! "
Then the gentle, yet passionately stern voice speaks, through His word, " I made you for better things that this. I made you so that you can experience Me and my joy and pleasure because it far exceeds anything that you can fathom. Why do you move away from me? Why do wander? Come close to me and I will draw close to you. I can help you. My footing is sound and solid."
And so you move back towards the safety of the shore. It's still a struggle. The strife is real. The current of evil still tugs at your heart, your soul and you mind. Little by little your pull against the current, until you can feel the ocean floor. The current still pulls against you but the closer you get to the shore, the less violent the pull is.
Finally, you're back on steady ground. You can walk to safety and it feels good. Only there'll be a next time., if you're like me, I am always prone to wander. Always prone to leave the God I love. Always struggling with the war within. It's only by grace and mercy that I win any of these battles. That is His goodness towards me and this goodness has a name Jesus! He my hope and stay!
Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.”
Romans 7:25 NLT