Posted on by kellyyarborough

You never know what he’s gonna say

Have you ever been around someone who just spouts something and you’re not sure if they’re serious or not?

I have!  I married one. I’m not kidding when I say I can’t believe some of the things he says.  Mostly it’s just so comical, I laugh at him.

The funniest part is watching the reactions of people when they’re not sure if he’s serious or not.  Believe me, most times he’s not serious, he likes to see the reaction

Case in point, a few weeks ago we stopped by Black Coffee Shop in Tryon, NC   Our initial intent was to get coffee; however plans changed as we looked at the menu.

Remembering that Alex had visited there a few weeks prior and had raved about the smoothies,  I knew that’s what I wanted.  Terry and Amy followed suit and ordered smoothies as well

I noticed Terry spying the yummy looking baked goods in the case.  Then it happened, out of the clear blue, pointing at the cookies, he said to the gal behind the counter, “Do you think you could give me one of those and let me nibble it like a rat nibbles on cheese?”

She looked at him, not sure how to respond, then gave a little smile and said, “I could give you  sample.”

At this point, I am trying to hold myself together to keep from disturbing the peace.

He did his signature chuckle and said, “Nah, that’s ok but I will take the bear-claw.”

Sometimes, he is hard to read.  It’s hard to tell when he’s being serious or joking.  The dude can keep an arrow straight face.  Beats all I’ve ever seen.  However, when you’ve been around him long enough, you can tell.  You know when he’s serious and when he’s not.

I told you in an earlier blog that he doesn’t shy away from confrontation.  He will call a spade a spade.  He calls it like he sees it.  The only difference is that he does it with this chuckle, which helps to ease his words.

There’s just something about him and the way he is that makes me love him more.  It’s difficult for me to stay angry with him for any length of time, mostly because he’ll say or do something to ease the tension.  It’s the same characteristics that make others love him and want to be around him.  He’s consistently the same.

There’s something very special and unique about his personality.  It’s a very rare trait in today’s society where everyone is trying to fit in with the crowd or trying to impress someone for the first time.

Honestly, I find myself trying to be more like him  I want to be real with people  I don’t want to be something I’m not.  It’s farther exhausting.  Besides, if you have to pretend to be something you’re not, is it even worth the pursuit of a friendship?  I think not

Dr. Seuss had it completely right when he said, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

God’s word tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  In fact just take a look at how Eugene Patterson translates the following scripture

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:13-16‬ ‭MSG‬‬

 

 

 

 

Posted on by kellyyarborough

Grandma Reese

Sassy, sweet and not afraid to work her hands to the bone. The epitome of love in action is how I would describe her.

Her sass gave her the ability to walk through some of life’s most difficulties and the ability to raise seven children

Her sweetness gave her the ability to dote on and love her grandchildren and great grands.

Her hard work ethic gave her the ability to always provide for her family.  While she didn’t work outside the home; her hard work was done in the home.  She was a green thumb when it came to gardening and fabulous cook.  She could whip up a meal in no time flat.  She could quilt, mend, and make her own clothes.  Truly, she could do just about anything but drive

Life would throw her some curve balls so she had to be able to handle them.

My grandfather joined the Navy during World War II and left her and four young boys behind.  She told me, “Every day I would get those boys up before dawn and take them outside to help me.”

She knew the pain of having a still born but she knew the joy of having a quiver full. However, I believe one of her most difficult trials came when my daddy died.  Often she would say to me, “I never thought I would have to bury a child.  I always thought I would go first. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to watch.”

She would tell me about the pain and agony he was in and how it broke her heart to see him that way.  But she was quick to always say,  “The smile never left his face.”

She knew the heartache of losing her beloved.  Grandpa died unexpectedly of a stroke in 1991 and she would live as a widow for the next 18 years.

She knew the joy of grandchildren.  She had nineteen.  She loved us all well.  She enjoyed having us in bunches or individually.  She didn’t care how many or how few.  In her mind there was always room for one more.

She even had the privilege of knowing most of her great grandchildren!

Oh, how I loved her and spending time with her.  If I would call her ahead of time , she would always cook a pot of green beans for me.  She knew they were my favorite.  If I didn’t call and just showed up; she’d rummage around in the basement and bring up a quart or two of green beans and insist I stay and eat.  I didn’t refuse because one thing about having Reese blood, food is an essential. Besides that was her way to expressing love. She always had more than enough to feed everyone at the table.

Today is her special day!  It’s the day of her birth!  She celebrates in heaven and I’ll celebrate her on earth.  Happy birthday, Grandma!

Sallie Clark Reese   April 15, 1916-August 17,2009

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 1 Comment

My Caregiver

I have always been fond of Little House on The Prairie. I love the books as well as the television series. The books varied from the series; however, it was always the appeal of a simple lifestyle that appealed to me. In the deepest part of my heart, the yearning for simplicity has always prevailed. Simple living did not mean that heartache and disappointment were nonexistent; however, it seemed to me that in living simply, peace was found in abundance. Isn’t that what our souls yearns for the most? Peace. The ability to walk through stormy weather and know all will be well. Peace. The ability, when all things around us are falling apart, to hold together. Peace. The unexplainable feeling when you know something is terribly wrong, but you aren’t shaken by it. Peace. Complete rest for our souls. Peace. The unshakeable comfort.

Living simply doesn’t mean that you are simple minded. Living simply means that you get unnecessary, overwhelming distractions out of the way and enjoy the day and all it has for you. Throw off things that hinder peace in your life. Say “no” to things that do not bring peace. Rid yourselves of unnecessary obligations that create worry and stress. Make the choice to rid yourself of things that are not helpful to you or what is helpful others. Lysa Terkeurst says, “Wisdom makes a decision today that will still be good for tomorrow.” By doing this, we are allowing God a big opportunity to show up and show out.

From my earliest recollection of her, she exemplified peace. She sang “There will be peace in the valley”. Peace was there. All around. From the positioning of their quaint house perched atop a knoll, to the rolling pasture complete with livestock, to the smell of bacon frying in the early morning hours, to the multitude of African violets in a magnificent array of blooms…always- every aspect of her life spoke peace. Peace did not allude her. Peace was hers. It belonged to her in every sense of the word. She was not wealthy by the worlds standards but she was blessed with a wealth of dear precious ones who loved her and loved her deeply. I was one of the fortunate ones to know her. I knew her well. From the time I was 3 months old until I was 15, she was my care giver. She was, to me, another grandmother. Although I had biological grandparents and she had biological grandchildren. She adopted me and I adopted her. She was as close to me as my own and I as close to her as her own.

One of the most fascinating things about her was that she was born in 1903 and her precious husband in 1900. Keeping up with their ages was always fun for me and easy. He was as old as the current year and she was 3 years less. She began taking care of me when she was 65 years old. By the age of 2, she had taught me many things about God’s word through her singing as well as scripture. Every day she would stand me in a chair and we would recite, John 3:16. Every day at nap time, she would rock me and sing to me, mostly hymns, but sometimes lullabies. One of her favorite Hymns was, “Revive Us Again”. She loved the chorus and most days she would even sing the chorus as she watered and tended her African violets. Maybe that’s the reason for their ever present display of beauty. The chorus is, “Hallelujah! Thine the glory. Hallelujah! Amen. Hallelujah! Thine the glory. Revive us again.” One day when I was about 3, I was at home singing, as I often did. My mom was listening and heard me singing the chorus but I using a heavy “r” at the end of Hallelujah. She asked, “Why are you singing it that way?” I replied, “That’s the way Mamaw Gillespie sings it.” She said, “Hallelujah doesn’t have an r at the end.” The next day, I walked straight into Mamaw’s house and told her, “My Mama said you were singing the song wrong. Hallelujah doesn’t have an “r” at the end.” I can’t recall her response but I can tell you it didn’t change the way she sang the song. Not one bit. Not ever. Why? It didn’t matter to her. Her heart was so full of love for the Lord and what He had done for her. She didn’t care. All that mattered to her was that she was singing to Him and asking on a daily basis that He revive her and give her “peace in the valley” or “peace like a river.” Her songs were prayers for her soul. She didn’t have to have the words perfect. Her heart was inclined, or leaned into, God and that’s all that really mattered. You see she just chose to be there in the moment. Her life was moment by moment. Day by day. I would venture to say she probably sang, “Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.”

Her life was a series of wise choices day after day.  She knew her place and she knew what she was best suited to do.  She chose to say “no” to things that would hinder her from being the best caregiver day after day, year after year.  She was a woman who exuded confidence in her ability to care for her babies.  That is what she did best.  To say I’m lucky to have had her in my life would be an understatement.  Blessed doesn’t even seem accurate.  I am simply overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness that I was hers and she was mine.

***This post was originally written on another blog I started several years ago and failed to keep it going.  Two people reminded me in the past two days about this and oddly enough, it’s just what I needed to be reminded of today.***

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 1 Comment

That Girl

Prior to meeting Terry in January of 1994, I was part of the single’s ministry at FBC.  We were in the process of trying to build up the program and we were doing outreach.  Immersed in letter writing and phone calling, I was gung-ho!

One evening Tom and Marie (later to become my brother and sister in law) gave me Terry’s phone number and asked me to call and encourage him to come.  In fact Marie said, “He gets tired of us asking all the time.  He just needs some extra encouragement to come back to church.”

I took the number and tried to call multiple times over the course of about three or four weeks Every time I called, a deep throaty almost manly voice would answer and say, “Terry’s not here. He’s at work.”  Every time I called, he was always at work.

Then I ran into Marie and she asked if I had gotten in touch with Terry.  I told her that every time I called he was never home.  She encouraged me to keep trying and then told me to call him Saturday morning because she knew he would be home.

I did and the same deep throaty voice answered but this time she said, “Hold on.”  Then she started calling , “Terry.  Terry.  That girl is on the phone.”

From that moment on, I was “That Girl” to her.  For the longest time, I didn’t even think she knew my name.

Over the years, I’ve thought so many times about her calling me “that girl” and I’ve come to a realization that she was testing me out.  She knew that Terry’s heart was growing fond of me and I think she wanted to make sure that my heart was growing in fondness toward him too.  In an odd way, I think she was trying to protect herself as much as she was trying to protect him.  She didn’t want to see him hurt and she also didn’t want to get too close to me, if I were not “the One”.

Terry was her baby boy.

In fact most times when Terry would call her on the phone he would say, “Hey Thel, It’s Terry the baby of the family.”

He will argue with me and say he wasn’t spoiled by her, but I’m telling you she adored Terry.  After Terry’s dad died, he moved in with her and gave her companionship.  She knew if Terry and I married, he would move out and she would lose his companionship.

More than that, she knew that Terry would be taking on a huge responsibility by marrying me. He would become an insta-dad.  She didn’t dislike the idea.  She just knew it would come with difficulty because she too had brought two young children into her marriage with Terry’s dad. She knew the hardships of having a blended family.  She wanted the best for her boy.

Do you blame her?

I don’t.

As our relationship grew, so did her affection for me, as did my affection for her.

Thelma was a very strong woman.  She was strong minded and direct.  You knew exactly where you stood with her and if she didn’t like something, she didn’t mind telling you.  However, she was very quick to say she was sorry if she was wrong.

I remember one time, she said something pretty harsh to me.  I pretended not to hear.  Apparently she spent several days mulling over our conversation and she called me and said, “I think I really hurt your feelings the other day and I’m sorry.”  In fact, when she called there was no small talk, not even a “hello”.  She got straight to the point.

She also had a very good sense of humor and when she was in the hospital right before she died, she asked me to clean her teeth.  She had trouble getting them out so I had to help her before I could clean them.  She said, “Well, it’s obvious you’ve had no experience with false teeth.”  Then she proceeded to tell me how to clean them for her and precisely how to get them back in her mouth.

Oh, how I loved her and she loved me.   I don’t remember specifically when she began calling me by name, but I knew when she did I had earned her full trust.

Folks

You know sometimes it’s difficult to trust people, especially when we’re trying to protect ourselves or those we love.  But we can trust God and trust that He always has our best in His mind. He is completely trustworthy.

“See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”  Isaiah 49:16

 

 

Posted on by kellyyarborough

Always on His mind

This wasn’t the blog I planned to write.  In fact, until this morning, my plan and thoughts for the next few blogs didn’t relate to this one but I read a statement this morning in my devotion and I just can’t shake it.  In fact, I believe it’s something that most, if not all, of us need to hear.

Right now I know a lot, and I mean a LOT of people going through tough times.  Friends who’ve lost loved ones or are facing losing loved ones.  People who are battling cancer or other illness.  Dear ones who are going through marriage, family or financial struggles.  You name it and I probably know someone who’s facing difficulties.

Honestly, I have my own struggles too and maybe that’s why I was so impressed when I read this:

“He could have removed Himself from the cross but He chose not to! He chose to contain His power. Why? Why didn’t He save Himself from the mockery of hell itself?

He stayed there for you … because YOU were the joy set before Him. You were on His mind while He hung on Calvary’s cross.”  Carol McLeod

I don’t know about you but this certainly speaks to the very core of my heart. I am His joy and he thought of me!  My frailties, imperfections and sin didn’t keep Jesus from enduring the cross, they kept Him on the cross.

This is why and how He can relate to us even more. Not only did God become flesh and dwell among us but on the cross he felt every pain, every sorrow, every bitterness..everthing that we would ever feel and He stayed there and endured the cross because He values and loves us that much. He views us as His joy because He desperately wants to be our joy, especially in our hardest struggles.

One of my favorite songs sums it up perfectly

Verse 2
You didn’t want heaven without us
So Jesus You brought heaven down
My sin was great Your love was greater
What could separate us now

What a wonderful Name it is
What a wonderful Name it is
The Name of Jesus Christ my King
What a wonderful Name it is
Nothing compares to this
What a wonderful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
What a wonderful Name it is
The Name of Jesus

What a Beautiful Name
Words and Music by Ben Fielding & Brooke Ligertwood

Posted on by kellyyarborough

All in a day

On Sunday, like usual, we drove to Greenville for church. (Yes, we drive 50 minutes to go to church. I will tell you why in the next post)

Before church we always go out for breakfast. Our customary stop is Tommy’s Country Ham House. If you haven’t been, trust me, you should go.  You will not be disappointed.

After church we decided to go downtown to  Falls Park to walk.  We had been walking about an hour when I suggested we sit down. Luckily we found an unoccupied park bench in the shade and started to people watch. Terry looked at me and said, “How long have we been walking?” When I told him an hour he replied, “No wonder my legs were getting tired.” We rested for a few minutes and decided it was time to head home.

When we arrived home, I started prepping for dinner. As I was finishing chopping potatoes, Amy said she wanted to go practice throwing.  She asked if we wanted to go. Terry was content to sit on the couch with Sammy. Obviously, I was not going to turn down an invitation to go with her.

We arrived at the field, only to find the fence locked.  The only way in was to climb the fence.  I’m standing there looking at the fence thinking to myself, “Oh, I’m not sure about this.  I’m not even sure I can do it.”

Amy was reading my mind. “Mom, it’s the only way in.  You’ll have to climb   Here let me show you.”  She said and climbed the fence with ease.  It was my turn.  It was comic but I managed after about 4 minutes. Whew.  I made it.

Once over the fence, Amy discovered that the throwing implements were not left in their usual place.  We had to climb the fence again.  I thought I would go first because in my mind, I thought it would be easier.  Not.  I didn’t make it the first time; however I did the next time.  I realized Amy was video taping and snap chatting the entire episode.  By the time we got in the car, I was laughing so hard, I was doing the “squirrel laugh” It’s the name my kids have given my laugh.  Normally when it happens anyone who hears it laughs too just because the sound is funny.

As I finished getting dinner ready, Alex and Amy were howling at Terry.  Amy had convinced him to do some snap chatting.  If you don’t follow her, you’ll just have to trust me.  He ain’t right.  He’s like a little kid and says the darndest things. For example, his face was in a rocket ship, and he said, “Oh, I’m in a rocket ship getting ready to blast off. Whee!”  Unfortunately, my description pales in comparison to watching the video for the full effect.

After dinner, we were still laughing over Terry and his silliness. Alex looks at me and says, “How did y’all meet anyway.”

“It’s on my other blog.  Didn’t you read it?” I said

Amy pipes up, “You have another blog?”

“Yeah, but it’s old.  Didn’t keep it going and I’m going to eventually transfer those stories to the new one.” I replied.

“So, are you going to tell us the story?” Alex asked.

Terry chimed in, “Let your mom tell you the story.  She remembers it better than I do.”

As we sat there and I shared our story, I realized I love it more.  It reminds me how fortunate and blessed I am.  I am humbled to I realize how intricately God was weaving our hearts and lives together before we met.

I was also reminded of the sermon we heard from Brad earlier in the day:

“Built to Last”

  • Nothing lasts by accident
  • Everything has sacrifice involved.  It is not cheap
  • It’s never built alone

At the end of the day, we had come full circle.  We had worshipped together.  We walked together. I climbed a fence and Terry blasted off in a rocket ship. More importantly, we laughed together.  Here we sat, at the dinner table as the day ended, with our precious children sharing our story that started 23 years ago. It’s a day that will be etched deep in my mind for a very long time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by kellyyarborough

His one and only

I’m a sap for a good love story. I am particularly fond of this one.

I guess you could say they’ve known each other their whole lives.  They were married far longer than they were single, 66 years 10 months to be exact. They met in grade school.  In fact, my grandmother and her brother had to walk about 3/4 mile to catch the bus.  The bus stop just happened to be at my grandfather’s house. Some may say it was luck or coincidence, I prefer to call it a planned intervention by God to mingle these two hearts together.

In time, their friendship grew into love.  In fact, my grandfather said, “She’s always been my one and only.  There has never been any other woman I have ever loved.”

As their love grew, so did their desire to get married.  The only caveat.  They were young.  He was 16.  She was 17.  Their parents didn’t object to marriage but told them they would have to elope to South Carolina.  They did.  On a balmy July day, Troy and Colleen along with their two witnesses, traveled from Hickory, NC to South Carolina and eloped.

This was the story I heard from my grandmother for years and years.  It was only the night before she died that I learned the rest of the story.

“Well honey, lets just say I grew up and became 18 quickly,” Popaw said.  My initial thought was he was simply saying marriage grew him up quickly.  The curl of his lips told me that it meant something entirely different.  Then it hit me.  I knew exactly what he was telling me.

“Oh my gosh, you lied about your age, didn’t you?” I inquired.

“One of us had to be 18 and I was the logical choice.  All I had to do was sign a document stating I was 18.” He replied.

“Are you kidding?  I didn’t know you ever told a lie.” I blurted.  Suddenly, I realized that this was his first admission.  They had never told anyone, not even their own children. “Of all the stories she told me, not once did she ever tell me your secret.”

In the stillness of the moment I could feel the satisfaction rising in Mamaw, even in her comatose state, she seemed satisfied that their secret was out and I knew it.

As we continued to talk, I realized that the majority of their formative years were spent together.  Here we were at the end of her life and he knew every detail of her entire life history.  And she knew his life history as well.  They had grown up together and old together. Their lives were molded together. They loved through thick and thin.  They were friends and lovers.  Being together never got old, they always found a reason to laugh and talk and love. Their lives had truly become one.

Finally the time had come for me to go. I needed sleep in the worst way and Popaw needed to be with her.  His beloved.  They needed to spend their last night together just as they had their first….alone with each other.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance…..Love never fails”  I Corinthians 13:4-8 NLT