Posted on by kellyyarborough · 1 Comment

The Ground is Always Level

For years I’ve heard Rev. Billy Graham’s quote, “The ground is level at the foot of the cross.” I am just now beginning to understand what that means. Remember I am blonde so it takes me a little longer. Joking aside, I think it’s just how God reveals himself to us when He’s good and ready. He knows our hearts and He knows when we will receive it best.

The start of this process of understanding began for me about 29 years ago. Yes, you read that right. 29 years….and some change. It was in November of 1993, the exact date I cannot recall. The place was Teen Valley Ranch. It was the highlight weekend for many of our high school kids. A weekend chocked full of adventure, Bible Study and worship.

This particular Teen Valley weekend we had invited a group of musicians back to lead, not only worship, but Bible study as well. Upon our arrival, the leaders all met together to pray and brainstorm how to impact our youth with God-centered truth. The main theme for this weekend centered on the cross and the sacrifice Jesus made for us. We collectively decided that the best way to display the message of the cross was portray the cross scene live, like a live nativity at Christmas.

On our final evening of worship and teaching we closed it out with a candlelight service where everyone who felt led could write down their burdens and sorrows and lay them at the feet of Jesus. Little did we know the impact this moment would have on our youth and our workers. It was powerful. It was life changing, not to mention for the poor fella standing with his arms outstretched in front of the cross, for a very long time. But in that moment of time, everyone compelled by the power of the Holy Spirit offered up their baggage, regardless of what it was and there they either met Jesus for the first time or rededicated themselves to Him.

For some, even today, they may have walked away again, forgetting that day. Leaving behind the feelings for freedom and forgiveness they felt in that moment. While others have held fast and continued their journey in the faith. Yet others like me, waffle back and forth between the holding fast and the forgetting. So often I long to be part of the world more than I want the things of heaven. (I know I am not the only one.)

But here’s the thing I can say with confidence and certainty, I know that when I stand before God and He asks me why should I let you into Heaven, my response will be,”Because the man on the middle cross said I can come.” If you haven’t heard this statement look here https://blog.truthforlife.org/the-man-on-the-middle-cross-said-i-can-come

Living right doesn’t get you into Heaven. Doing good doesn’t get you into Heaven. Doing church or volunteer work doesn’t get you into Heaven. Going to church doesn’t get you into Heaven.

Believing in Jesus is the only way to Heaven. There is no other way. He makes that very clear in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me.”

Now back to my original statement of the ground being level at the foot of the cross, God doesn’t have a merit system. He doesn’t grade based on our pedigree or performance. Young or old. Sick or health. Rich or poor. His only stipulation is that we believe in Jesus. That is why “the ground is always level at the foot of the cross.” Everyone is welcome and everyone comes the same way.

Posted on by kellyyarborough

A Joy-Filled Life

On Thanksgiving Day, November 23, 2023 marked the 84 birthday of my daddy, Mack Reese,born November 23,1939. Although cancer cut his life short at age 36, his love and legacy continues on because his life was the epitome of thankfulness, joy and hope.

He praised God despite the circumstances and pain of his cancer. He always looked at his suffering as an opportunity to share his faith. He knew that a grateful heart and one full of thanks could endure even the most grueling pain because a heart of gratitude took focus off him and placed it back on God and His goodness.

Many of you are choosing the same. You’ve lost loved ones, some expected and others very unexpected. You’ve experienced unexpected health issues. You’re in a tough spot, a place you’d never thought yo’d be. You’ve had a cloud of despair hanging around like an unwanted guest. But you are choosing to be thankful and joyful.

By choosing joy and thankfulness you are living out Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” The “all things” Paul is referring to is regardless of what’s going on around you, you are rejoicing in the Lord.

This kind of joy is also referenced in the Book of Nehemiah 8:10 “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” It doesn’t mean that you’re ignoring the pain of suffering, you’re simply choosing to be full of joy because of the hope you’ve found in Jesus.

Let me encourage you today, keep being joyful. Keep living in hope. Keep on keeping on. One day someone will look back on your life, as I am able to look at my Dad’s and say, “What an inspiration.”

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 2 Comments

Dear Ned

Dear Ned,

Today of all days I am reminded of our conversation before your first appointment with Dr Anthony. We were sitting in Chick-fil-A and Mom went to the bathroom.

You looked at me and said, “You and I both know that this is not going to end well. And you’re going to have to take care of your mother. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know and I will” I answered. Secretly hoping we were both wrong and that God would heal him on earth.

We weren’t wrong and God made you whole on October 29, 2017. It was a grand and glorious day for you but a very sad, hard time for us, especially Mom.

Just as I promised you, I have taken care of Mom, along with a lot of help from Kristi and Terry. They have been warriors with me and I am so deeply grateful.

Taking care of Mom looked a lot different than you had in mind. I came alongside her to care for Popaw and essentially take over his healthcare to alleviate her anxiety about having to make decisions for him.

We all pitched in and helped her sell the “big house” and move to a very sweet little condo, perfect for her.

In mid-2019 it became more apparent that she was struggling more and more with short-term memory issues. In August 2020, we went to the neurologist for her first visit. He wasn’t overly concerned and said the memory loss could be related more to depression and anxiety but said they needed an MRI just to see if there were cognitive issues or something else. The MRI revealed that she has “age-related memory loss.” However, her cognitive results at that time didn’t warrant medication other than just her antidepressant.

In February 2021, we revisited her neurologist. This time proved a bit different than before. Her cognitive test revealed that she was on a decline. Although he still calls it “mild”, medication to slow the process was necessary. And so she began taking medication.

We noticed a leveling off, if you will for a while and even the neurologist was happy at her follow-up in August of 2021. But life has a way of throwing punches beyond our control. Aunt Trisha became deathly ill with pancreatic cancer and because Mom could not care for her, Aunt Trisha asked me to become her HCPOA. For the next four months, I split time between home and Winston-Salem. While I was caring for Aunt Trisha, Kristi was taking care of Mom.

But we began noticing more of a decline, and by the time we visited her neurologist again in February of 2022, he too noticed a further decline. Thinking it may be more related to depression he upped her dosage of antidepressant from 25mg to 50mg, which is still considered a low dosage. It did calm down some of the anxiety she seemed to be having and a few months leveled her memory decline.

However, there were concerns we began having, and by the end of October, we knew there were some hard decisions that we had to make.

For the past two years or so, Mom had told the three of us, collectively and individually, that if she needed assisted living she wanted to go to The Bridge because “that’s where my Daddy was”. And so in November, with Kristi’s input and blessing, I called and put her on the waitlist for The Bridge. The timeframe of the wait would be 3-4 months.

On December 27 Mom and I made another trip to see the neurologist. At that time, we told him of our plans for her to go into assisted living and he concurred that it was good timing. He also told her he was proud of her for not digging her heels in the sand and refusing to go.

After having to put Sammy down in January, Terry and I decided to sell our house. Without him there, home no longer felt like home. Plus, we had been discussing it for months beforehand.

In late February I received a call from Beth at The Bridge telling me that Mom had a place. Not only did she have a place but because two units were coming available at the same time, she could come and choose her new apartment. So, Kristi, Terry, and I went with her to pick out her place.

In the meantime, our house went under contract. Matthew got married. We took a trip out West. Came home. Moved Mom into her apartment on March 31 and moved into her sweet little condo on April 12.

It’s been a whirlwind since the beginning of January, to say the least. But it’s all good. Mom is settling in well and so are we. But when I find myself thinking of our conversation over 7 years ago, I think you always recalled the last conversation I had with Daddy before his death. You knew he’d given me a very great and overwhelming responsibility at seven. One I could not bear because I was way too young. A responsibility that God entrusted to you and now you were giving it back to me. I have not taken this opportunity lightly or tried to do it on my own, I have enlisted help and support from many. I am in no way giving up my obligation by choosing to move Mom to The Bridge. I am simply giving us all freedom to love on her and enjoy being with her and giving the good people there the opportunity to give her the best care possible.

Oh, how I wish I could just pick up the phone and call you. Just once. Just to hear you say, “You’re doing what’s best.” But in all honesty, as many as I sought in making these decisions, God has been my ultimate counselor and guide so I know it is what’s best.

I just want to say thank you for loving and caring for her so well.for 39 years. You always did what was best for her. Thank you for entrusting me to continue what you started.

Love you and miss you!

Sidebar: I began this yesterday because it would have been Ned’s 78th birthday but I couldn’t complete it until today.

Posted on by kellyyarborough

TETELESTAI – It is Finished

What do these three words mean to you, “It is finished”? Before you answer let me put it to you like this. Your answer will determine your future. Yes, really. This is the climax of why Jesus came. It is the very reason He was born. It was His purpose. Think about that for just a moment: Jesus was born to die.

Jesus wasn’t just born to die an ordinary death. His death changed the trajectory of our future, at least for those who chose to believe. His death would defeat sin and conquer death. His death would be the death we deserve to die. Jesus was always God’s plan for salvation…..always.

Let’s observe for just a minute all that was taking place on Good Friday. It looks and feels like anything but good. Jesus has been sentenced to death because of His claim to be the Messiah. They put a crown of thorns on his head. They beat him. They spit on him. They slapped him. They mocked Him. They even cast lots for His clothes.

Jesus knew both the horror and joy this day would bring. This is why he begged, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”Luke 22:42. He knew what He would endure. He knew he would be beaten, mocked, shamed, and nailed to the cross. But that’s not the part that ripped his heart out. He knew that while the wrath of God was being poured on him, in that time He would be without help from His Father. He would have to ensure it all because He knew there was no other way and so He willingly obeyed. Did he have to? No, He didn’t. He could’ve made excuses. He could’ve told God that it would be way too hard and to find another way. Yet, He willingly submitted to God’s authority because He knew that God’s plan was best.

After making their way to Golgotha, He was nailed to the cross. There he hung on the cross between two thieves. And here’s where the rubber meets the road for these two men. Here’s where the heart of the matter is. One asks Jesus to remember Him and one doesn’t. Jesus responds by feeling the repentant thief, “Truly I tell you, Today you will be with me in paradise” Luke 23:43 They both are faced with the same choice. So, what makes the difference? The difference resides in their hearts. One sees himself as a sinner in need of a Savior. The other doesn’t see his need at all. In essence, it’s the same choice we are faced with. Will we acknowledge Jesus for who He is and admit that we are sinners in need of Savior. After all, we are told that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

But wait, there’s a little more here to the story. Around noontime a complete darkness filled the sky for three hours. This was the darkest time history has ever seen. This was Jesus’ darkest hour. This was the time He agonized over the most. It was during this time that the wrath of God was being poured upon Him. All sin. Everyone’s sin. My sin. Your sin. “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV

“Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” John 19:28-30 NIV

When Jesus proclaimed “TETELESTAI”. He meant, “It has been finished. It is now finished It will be finished”. Past. Present.Future. And this is the very good news of Good Friday. But the question remains: What do these words mean to you? Your answer will determine your future.

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 2 Comments

25 years and counting

A story that should never get too old to be retold.

Today just seems like the appropriate day to get this blog started.  On this day, 25 years ago God blessed us with a 7lb 9oz baby girl, Amy Grace.  That very same day, God spared my life and gave me a new lease on life.  Let me explain.

Two days prior to Amy’s birth, I looked like a beached whale.  I was waddling like a duck and hadn’t slept in two weeks.  She wasn’t due for another two weeks.  I took Terry with me to by OB appointment for both moral support and to keep me from flooding the doctors office with tears.  Fortunately, Dr. Oldham saw my misery and said, “Ok.  You can either come in on Thursday the 12th or Friday the 13th and we will induce.”  Without hesitation Terry spoke up and said, “We’ll take the 12th because I don’t like the idea of having a baby on Friday the 13th.”

Upon leaving the office, I was elated.  “Only two more days of misery, ” I thought to myself, “I can deal with two days.”

We were up early on the 12th. We made our way to the hospital and at 7:00 the Pitocin drip began.  Didn’t take long for contractions to begin and by 1:45, I was 5cm dilated and contractions were steady, actually it seemed as if they were increasing not only in strength but frequency by the minute.  Around 2:15 when they checked me again, I was 8cm dilated. They called down for an epidural, but by the time it reached the room, there was no time.  By 2:35 pm, I was fully dilated and delivering.  We were elated our baby girl had arrived. We knew ahead of time the baby was a girl.  We just hadn’t told anyone, except one dear friend, mainly because I didn’t believe the ultrasound.

Our room quickly filled with family and friends to greet this new little life.  Within about 30 minutes of her delivery, I began to feel odd and had a weird painful sensation in my abdominal area.  The nurse insisted it was my uterus contracting but I said, “I don’t think so.  This is my fourth child and I’ve never had this sensation before.”  She did nothing.

Fortunately, my friends Ashley and Bryon showed up.  She came in the room and said, “You don’t look good.  What’s wrong?”  I told her about my abdominal pain and she immediately went to the nurses station and told them to get some help because my color wasn’t good.

As soon as the doctor came in and examined me, blood gushed out.  It actually felt like a chain link fence was coming out of me.  Horrified, she began packing me to stop the bleeding.  For the next few minutes, I felt almost normal and then it happened again.  This time, she packed me again, but due to the significant loss of blood, a call to have blood delivered for a transfusion was necessary.  As soon as the blood arrived, I’m guessing I looked so bad and had lost so much blood, Dr. Arcara was literally screaming at the nurse, “Squeeze the damn bag or I will.”

After a third time of packing and no control over the bleeding, it was determined I would have to have emergency surgery.  They had no idea what they would find.  I remember vaguely her asking me if I could sign the release for them if a hysterectomy was necessary.

Due to the seriousness of the bleeding, Dr. Oldham was also called in to assist Dr. Arcara. The next thing I remember is waking up to the sound of Dr. Zahn’s (the anesthesiologist) saying, “You look like Stay Puft the marshmallow man.  We had to pump you full of fluids.  You’re lucky to be alive.”

The next day, Friday the 13th, Dr. Oldham came by for rounds and said, “You had Victoria and I scared to death.  We’ve never experienced anything like that in our careers.  What happened was your cervix ripped over an artery and blood was just pumping out into your body. If not for her quick decision to do surgery, we wouldn’t have found it.  Also, they told me that during delivery, Amy had a true knot in her umbilical cord and it’s probable that if you had gone another two weeks, as she grew the knot would’ve gotten tighter and quite possibly taken her life.”

I don’t know about you but knowing that God provided, not one, but two miracles of life in a day for our family makes me feel truly blessed and humbled.  I stand in awe and wonder of his miracles and I realize that I would not be here without His grace and mercy.  My story could’ve ended on February 12, 1998 but God had bigger plans for me.  He choose to keep me here to tell my story and it is all for His glory.

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 1 Comment

A Heart-Wrenching Decision

Tap.Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound of Sammy walking endlessly around the house for three hours. I would doze off from time to time, but I was attuned to his wandering until finally, it stopped. The silence was almost deafening and fear of the unknown began to set in. I lay in bed paralyzed with fear. Finally, I dared to get up.

As I entered the kitchen from our bedroom, I looked for him in his bed or laying on the rug. I even glanced at the couch thinking he may have mustered the strength to jump. He wasn’t there. I walked across the kitchen and into the hallway. There he was laying in the hallway, still and motionless. I began to cry and called for Terry. I couldn’t bring myself to pick him up.

Terry picked him up and found he was still breathing. He’d just exhausted himself with his pacing. Terry handed him to me. I hugged him and cried happy tears because he was still with us. I cried ugly tears because I knew it wouldn’t be much longer. This was his fifth day, maybe sixth day, without food and very little water. Most of the time he would slowly walk to the water bowl and stand over the bowl, gaze and dip his head enough to wet his mouth. Almost like a human at the end of life who needs to be given a wet sponge just to keep their lips moist.

I already had an obligation in Hendersonville that morning and believe me, I delayed until I could delay no more. Looking for any excuse to linger longer but I knew Terry would be with him. We had already decided the day before that he would not be left alone.

I prayed on the way up Hendersonville that God would take away the decision I knew in my heart of hearts we were going to have to make. But at the same time, I didn’t want that to be the last time I saw my little boy. The struggle was real but I had to leave it in God’s hands.

As I headed back home around 2:00 pm, I had not heard from Terry and I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. Honestly, I didn’t want to know, especially if the news was bad because I knew I couldn’t drive home. So, I didn’t call.

When I pulled into the garage Terry was coming outside and then I saw him, Sammy following Terry, albeit extremely slowly, to greet me. Just like he always did. I scooped him up, kissed his little head, and whispered a prayer of thanks to God.

He settled in my arms and then we just sat together as usual on the recliner. He fell asleep and seemed very settled but it only lasted for about an hour. He awakened and began pacing and wandering again.

Terry and I watched him wander about aimlessly and I asked him,
“What time does Bonnie Brae close? We can’t put him through another night of this.”

“5:30 I think.” Remembering what he was told the day.

“It’s time,” I said. He knew it. I knew it. Sammy knew it.

He called around 4:15 and they told us to come at 4:30. So, we had to walk out the door without stopping to pass go. I put Sammy in his favorite bed and carried him to the truck, crying the whole way.

Terry finished answering questions about Sammy and giving them the information needed as soon as he was off the phone we both wept for the rest of the trip. Honestly, I don’t know how even saw beyond his tears. Sammy, for the first time in two days, was so peaceful. There was not a hint of angst in him. He lay on my lap in his bed and didn’t move a muscle. He was tired and I think he knew his fight was over.

We were so emotional walking into the clinic and the receptionists were so kind and compassionate. It was obvious they felt our pain. They quickly whisked us into a room and it wasn’t long before Dr. Fitch came in.

He knew this was not a decision we had made lightly and he was not going to try to talk us out of it. Several articles I’d read over the past few days said, “You know your pet better than anyone and you’ll know when it’s time.” He did listen as I told him of the events leading up to our decision (a story for another time). He went over the formalities and explained the procedure. Stepped out of the room and gave us a few more minutes with him. Again, Sammy never moved a muscle. He lay still and quiet in his bed. He didn’t raise his head. He wasn’t nervous. He was at peace.

As the sedative was administered, Dr. Fitch had warned, he may resist and flinch a bit. Then as the sedative moves through his body, he will most likely have some muscle twitching and pee. That did not happen either. Sammy didn’t flinch when he gave him the shot. His muscles never twitched and he didn’t pee.

After about 5 minutes or so he came back into the room to administer the IV to stop his heart. I lifted him out of his bed and gave him to Dr. Fitch. He laid him on the table, Shaved a little bit of hair from his leg, and inserted the IV, while Terry and I stood beside him with our hands on his head. It didn’t take long for his heart to stop. Dr. Fitch and the vet tech hugged us and left us alone for as long as we needed. We bawled and clung onto each other, petted our boy, and kissed his head one final time.

On January 5, 2023, around 5:00 pm our Sammy boy left this earth and our hearts will never be the same. It may not have taken long for his heart to stop beating but it’s gonna take a long for our hearts to stop grieving. He was our constant companion for the past 14 years.

As much as my heart is grieving, I simply cannot imagine the grief of losing a spouse or child. The pain of loss is so much more than I am experiencing right now. I cannot imagine walking into an empty house knowing Terry would not be coming back. I cannot imagine knowing that I couldn’t pick up the phone and call my children. I cannot imagine knowing that my children would never walk through my door again. And for those whose pets are their children because they have none. For those whose pets are their constant companion because they have none. I believe their loss goes to a much deeper level that I probably don’t understand. Yet there are times in life when God chooses to use things to give you deep empathy and compassion for others, I believe this is one of them.

Sammy “little boy” Yarborough
October 22, 2008 -January 5, 2023

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 2 Comments

A New Home

On December 1, 2021, I knew the end was near and that Aunt Trisha would soon be departing from this world. But she didn’t know, she never really accepted the fact that she was dying until that day and I believe that was God’s gift of grace to her. All she could think and talk about was going to her new home, her condo in Hendersonville.

Often throughout my visits with her, she would say to me, “I keep asking God, ‘God, why did you make everything so easy for me to find a place in Hendersonville and sell my house here if I was going to get cancer? I just don’t understand.”

Mostly I would just respond, “I don’t know either.” But one day about midway through her four-month battle with pancreatic cancer, I had been pondering on John 14:1-3 and as our conversation landed back to her lack of understanding what God was doing,

I said to her, “All I can figure is that God did all of this to give you hope about the new place He’s preparing for you in Heaven. I believe He orchestrated all of this so that you would have something to look forward to. I think He allowed you to come and enjoy your new little place for three days because He is showing you that the place He’s preparing is far greater.”

Perplexed and still uncertain she said, “But why? Why now?”

“I don’t know the answer to that but here’s what I know He promises in His Word, ‘Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.’” John 14:1-3 ESV

As I quoted the scripture to her, a peace washed over her and she said, “Maybe you’re right but I just don’t think I’m ready to die”. And she wasn’t at least not on that day or for another couple of months but on December 1, she finally accepted that cancer had invaded her body and her time was short. No one but God knew just how short it would be but I can assure you that on December 4, 2021, when He called her home she no longer thought about the sweet little place she wanted to call home because her new dwelling was far greater than her mind could conceive and her questions were put to rest.

As I think back over the four months, I realize that God gave her hope. When He helped us find and purchase her place in Hendersonville, He gave her hope of a new place, a sweet special place, just perfect for her. When He allowed her to come to her special place and stay for three nights, the hope of coming back was always at the forefront of her mind. And when she decided to allow Hospice to manage her care, He gave her hope of coming home. And what He was accomplishing the entire time was preparation for her homecoming with Him in Heaven.

Maybe today, you have a lot of questions running through your mind about what God is doing and why, maybe you don’t have a clear understanding of what He’s up to. Can I encourage you today? He is always up to something good and it is always far better than we can hope or imagine.

Posted on by kellyyarborough

True Compassion

How many times as a child did you threaten to run away from home or a situation just because your feelings were hurt or you weren’t getting your way? I threatened countless times but I never actually did it. However, I have a child who ran away. Not from home but ran away from school one day. Yes, you read correctly. He ran away from school one day.

Why did he run away and where did he go? He was only a first grader and six years old. At that age, no one would expect a child to run away. But we are not talking about any child. We are talking about my child, Matthew. The fearless, independent child with a vehement determination.

He felt slighted by his teacher. He got his feelings hurt, which for him at that time, was common. Although quite stubborn, he was also highly sensitive. A people-pleasing fella who didn’t like getting in trouble. He was sensitive to the reprimand given by his teacher and so when she wasn’t paying attention, he made a run for it.

When Mrs. Tribby discovered he was gone, she sent Marcie Burlett, her TA, out to find Matthew. Luckily, they knew where he would go but he arrived at his destination before Marcie could catch him.

I was in the kitchen when I heard the screen door open, I walked around the corner to find an out-of-breath Matthew.

“How did you get home?” I inquired.

“I ran away from school.” He replied.

“Matthew, you know you can’t just run away. I’m going to have to take you back to school.” I told him.

Suddenly there was wrapping on the door and there stood a winded and scared Marcie. “Oh, I am so thankful he’s here. We assumed and hoped this is where he would come.” Then she bent towards Matthew and said, “You scared us. You know you can’t just run away from school, right?”

“I know. I just got upset and wanted to come home to my Momma.” Matthew replied.

Obediently he walked back to school with Marcie. Once there Mrs. Tribby made sure that he understood how scared they were. The dangers of running away and the importance of talking through things and not leaving things unsettled. She assured me later that he understood and I would no longer be receiving visits from Matthew midday.

I am fairly certain, to this day, Matthew has been able to endure hurtful and confrontational issues more appropriately because of this lesson learned in his early years.

As I contemplate the significance of this experience I am reminded of how compassion truly works. Mrs. Tribby and Marcie both acted with great compassion. They understood why Matthew ran away but they didn’t tell him it was okay. Just the opposite, they made it very clear that what he had done was wrong and there was a better way to deal with the situation. They also made it clear they loved him and wanted the best for him but they did not allow him to stay at home, nor did I. He needed to go back to school to work things out.

Often we talk about compassion but we fail to show compassion or true compassion. True compassion understands or empathizes with why we make certain choices. But compassion does not appease the choice, when the choice is wrong or can bring us harm. Compassion calls it out. Compassion tells you when you’re wrong but compassion never hangs you out to dry. No. No. No. Compassion speaks the truth in love and then says, “I am here to help walk you through the process of making things right.” Compassion takes courage and commitment.

Posted on by kellyyarborough

Hidden Gems Among Us

A few days ago we were eating at one of our favorite spots. I was seated before Terry and kept waiting for him to join me. As soon as he sat down he explained his delay, “I met a man in the parking lot who has a truck like mine and we started talking about our trucks.” (Of course they did, it’s a man thing)

After a few minutes, the gentleman, Charlie, came to find us. He wanted to talk to Terry a little more. He told us about his granddaughter, daughter, and son-in-law. He asked about our family.

When he left our waitress told us that he and his wife are regulars there. His wife now has dementia and he is caring for her. (That explained a lot to me about why he was eager to talk to Terry.) She also told us that he had taken his wife into another local restaurant recently and she had an accident on the floor. The restaurant told him not to come back. I cannot tell you the wave of emotions I felt for him. Honestly, even writing this I am welling up with tears. And the saddest truth is the restaurant that is refusing him service is not a fancy, posh, fine dining restaurant. The establishment where we met him is far more upscale. Moreover, he and his wife have been loyal supporters of that restaurant as well.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a loved one with dementia but I have. I watched Ned’s mother, my grandmother, Louise was overtaken by Alzheimer’s. I watched my grandfather, Troy, become the caregiver for my grandmother, Colleen, for ten years before having to place her in assisted living. And just recently my mother has been diagnosed with age-related memory loss. The thing about patients suffering memory loss is that sometimes their systems do not work properly. Sometimes they do not have control over their bladder or bowels. Sometimes it happens so suddenly you cannot do anything but stand in your mess until it is over. It is the same thing that happens to children during potty training. They simply can’t get there in time. And I am just curious, do restaurants ban people from coming back when children lose it all over their floors?

I have seen this playing out over the past few years and it sickens me but I feel as if we are slowly becoming a society of “survival of the fittest, the brightest and best.” But what if our fittest, brightest, and best are hidden gems among us? The ones we view as weak. The ones we want to put aside? The ones society says aren’t good enough. But the ones that Paul says, “Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.”1 Corinthians 1:27

Posted on by kellyyarborough · 1 Comment

The Tale of Two Pups

Once upon a time, there was a little Princess named Amy. For her first Christmas, she was given a stuffed animal. This wasn’t just any stuffed animal. He was called “Praise Puppy”, made by Gund, exclusively for Family Christian Bookstores. She was immediately enamored with him. She slept with him under her arm while sucking her thumb. Puppy, as she would call him, became a necessity. He went everywhere with her.

The one time he got left behind, she was so unhappy, her brother, Ryan went to the hotel’s gift shop and purchased her a little TY dog named, Taffy. Taffy became part of her family too. They were inseparable as far as Amy was concerned and where she went they were sure to tag along. She even took them to sleepovers until it was not cool to bring your stuffed animals. But she was never too cool at home not to sleep with them. She always slept with Puppy and Taffy tucked under her arm. She often went to sleep picking Puppy’s belly. Poor thing, he has the bare spots to prove it and his neck is limp from her squeezing him under her arm. (Taffy is frail too).

Then one day she went away to college. She left behind her Puppy and Taffy. In her estimation, she had outgrown them. However, within the first six weeks of college, she was miserably homesick. Something she was not prepared for and neither was I. I asked her if she wanted me to bring her Puppy and Taffy because I knew in a small way they would be a huge comfort to her. She happily agreed.

Puppy and Taffy remained with her throughout her college years and even when she went to Charleston to begin grad school, Puppy and Taffy tagged along too.

This past Christmas, I wanted to find something unique and special for her. Something that she would not anticipate or expect. Something that would surprise her, maybe even blow her mind a little. (That’s a hard thing to do.) However, a fleeting thought passed through my mind, “What if I could find a new, never used Puppy.” Fortunately, the search was easy and I found a new, never-used, bagged Praise Puppy.

Can I be honest here? He was not very costly but I was more excited about giving him to her than the costlier gifts. Honestly, I could hardly contain my excitement. Little did I know how much this gift would mean. It wasn’t until I was writing out her clues for the scavenger hunt that I realized the impact of this gift.

Friends, I think we all need to be reminded as I reminded Amy on Christmas morning:

  • You are rare. God made only one of you and you are uniquely made. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139: 13-14
  • You are new. When we believe in Jesus we are made new. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
  • You belong to Jesus and you will be with Him forever. “But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:1-2. “Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43 “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life” John 3:16