Have you ever been without words? Believe it or not, I’ve been there a time or two. I mean you can’t even muster a thought and put words together? There’s nothing you can say because there’s really nothing to say.
At that moment do you try to say something cliche? Do you conjure up words in your mind that aren’t coming from the heart? To be honest, that’s what I try to do. I feel like I need to give them something.
But can I just tell you, I had absolutely no words? No words that were even cliche or soothing. The only words that spilled from my mouth were, “I don’t understand why but I know God is Sovereign and all I can do is pray. That’s literally all I can do.”
At that moment, what I realized is that my mouth didn’t overrun my heart. (It happens frequently). My heart was truly aching for my friend but I didn’t understand, nor did I pretend to understand, the depth of her feelings. If you haven’t walked through what another person is walking through you don’t understand and it’s simply not wise to say you do. Nor is it wise to give the pat and cliche phrases. It does not benefit either of you. Empty words without heart are purely meaningless.
Most people have really good intentions and they want to say words of comfort but sometimes the best comfort is no words at all.
What’s important to understand is that people’s response to hardships all differ. We must take into account that things from their past may affect how they feel about and react to current situations. And unless you are privy to that information there is no possible way for you to begin to get into their psyche and understand.
Why is it that we feel so compelled to say something?
I know for me, personally, I just want to be an encouragement. And so I try to find encouraging words, but when the words don’t come, I need to realize and recognize that words are sometimes not necessary. Sometimes it’s simply the act of being there, being available and giving a listening ear that means more than words!
Colossians 4:6” Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”